Why do I read Newsweek?

Newsweek comes weekly (obviously) to P O Box 8, Lampang, Thailand. I get so excited when it comes and pretty irritated when its late. I hate "double editions" because all that means is that I have to wait TWO weeks for the next edition. I read it from cover to cover - the letters, the politics, world affairs, global investments, society and the arts, tourism, new inventions, hot spots, technology, even the adverts.

And why? Its not like I understand it. I don't - the jargon, the references to things I know I probably should know about, the acronyms, and especially all the financial-business-stock-markets-real-estate stuff. Its beeeeee-yond me. Even the arts column is usually about some obscure artist or an author I've never heard of, or a new exhibition that I'd never attend (even if I weren't in Thailand). But I read it all - sports, architecture, opinions, right down to the last word... which is actually in a column called "The Last Word".

Recently, in an attempt to be honest with myself about the things I do, I asked myself WHY I read it. Am I so desperate for news of the outside world, in English? Am I simply trying to keep my mind active by reading something that is such a challenge for me? Am I worried that an intelligent person might not be able to have a conversation with me about current affairs if I don't read it? Do I actually deep, deep down LIKE feeling confused and bewildered? Am I hoping that by reading it I'll be a better person? Am I just addicted, but if so, WHY? Are the tiny nuggets I do understand enough to make it all worthwhile? Am I hoping, week after week, that maybe I'll start understanding it? Am I hoping that one day I'll pick up the latest edition and suddenly, miraculously, it'll all make sense?

I can't give up because, "the trouble with giving up ... is that the world goes on without you" (quoted from Newsweek, albeit in the context of the data available on current account deficits and yield spreads...whatever THAT is!). Mmmm, I can't have the world going on without me. So, is this why I read it: to feel connected with the world, even if its a world I don't understand? Well, until I get more clarity, I'll just have to keep on reading. Maybe the answer will come in next week's edition!