The Birthday Cake

Scene 1 - The Kitchen

The concept was simple - make a Barbie cake for Nina’s 4th birthday.

Nothing was simple.

The cake did not turn out nearly as nicely as I’d expected or wanted it to. I needed to bake two cakes to get the right size and shape and the first recipe was not great, so I had to find a new recipe for the second cake. The shaped cake stuck to the pan - despite greasing AND flouring it, so I had to redo that. Then, when I inserted Barbie, it turned out that the hole I’d cut for her was just too narrow for her wide hips (she really needs to do something about those wide hips!) and she split my jolly cake. I patched it together with blueberry jam.

I was managing fine and dealing with all the hurdles, but why wasn’t it easy? Why weren’t all the steps falling perfectly into place? Why was it all a struggle? I get so irritated with myself. Another minor detail to frustrate me - because of the bright bright yellow of the “butter” I used, the pink crumb coat I made was an odd orangey colour. Not what I wanted. I know the recipe said white butter, but we just don’t get that here.

Come time to decorate the cake, the rolling was easy, but transferring the delicate icing over the cake... aaagh. Again I’m irritated and this time I’m snapping at Nick and the kids. Bear in mind, though, my actual experience of using this icing was limited to what Google searches revealed. Oh, and video demonstrations I found on You Tube. In the end I did it. Not to my standard of perfection, not so that I was pleased and proud of my effort, but its done.

But then the icing didn’t harden. It’s supposed to take 20 hours to completely dry out and harden, but even after a few hours I could tell it was not going to harden. Thanks Oh Humid Hot Thai Weather, thanks very much. I directed a fan on it so it could dry out overnight. Nick thoughtfully switched it off before going to bed and the next morning the icing was just as soft. Deep down in my heart I knew that it looked absolutely fine - but even deeper down I was convinced that it was not as it was meant to be.

And then....Emily looked at the cake. She tilted her head this way and that, examining it and considering what could be better, how she could help, how could she improve her little sister’s cake. She saw the heart themed decorations and “bingo” she knew just what to do. She fetched her heart shaped erasers from her store of precious goodies and stuck them into the cake. Unfortunately they didn’t stay stuck, they all fell out, so she stuck them in deeper and with more force. Again and again and again. Mmm, not working all that well she decided, and gave up.

Well, I don’t know for sure that this all went through her mind, you see I was in a prayer meeting. What I do know is that a cake that was - to my mind - less than perfect was now wa-ay less than perfect.

No matter how many prayers I’d prayed just minutes before, when I saw that cake, my reaction was decidedly un-saintly. Enough said.

After a bit of soul searching and debriefing and trauma counselling, I recognized that the cake was for Nina, and that Nina would love it despite all it defects, and that it would make Nina’s party special. That was my intention and that was what I’d achieved, so all is now well with my soul.

Scene 2 - The Home School Room

Jonty is trying to do his Maths. We’re doing a new concept. He’s managing fine and dealing with all the hurdles, but he’s not finding it easy. Its a strain and a struggle. He writes an answer down and sees its wrong - he groans, he sighs, he bangs things around, he rubs it out and corrects it with a great performance. He hits his head, he tries to shake his brain to get it to work. He struggles and strains some more. He’s frustrated and disappointed. I tell him he’s doing well, he’s making excellent progress. He tells me that its not perfect. I tell him that he’s learning. He feels he should be able to do it all already. I tell him other kids his age also struggle with this - he tells me that he’s just not good enough, he should get it right first time.

Frankly, I don’t know where he gets this attitude from.