Some children's mothers!

We are lazing the days away here at the OMF guesthouse on the eastern coast of Thailand.

Over the past few I have been watching one of the other mothers. I've noticed that she always arrives at breakfast well AFTER her 2 boys have eaten theirs. I've noticed that she reads a lot. She goes for long solitary walks on the beach, meandering along, picking up shells and other treasures. At lunch and dinner she talks to adults, not her children, and has intelligent conversations. One morning she disappeared after breakfast and did not surface again until lunch time.

Her kids are none the worse for this ... dad is around and they just get on with their games, their TV watching, their swimming, their sand-castle building, etc.

In between noticing all of this, I am responding to shouts of "Mom, I need you." "Mom, I need to poo." "Mom, please may I have more toast?" "Mom, Jonty is not letting me have a turn" "Mom, I'm starving" ... and of course rushing around like a maniac trying to keep Nina out of the dog's food, and away from the sea, remove her from the drinks fridge, hide the orchids she "picked", etc, etc, etc.

Yesterday afternoon this other mother took a comfy reclining chair, put it up in the shade of one of the giant pine trees - just a few metres from the sea - and did some embroidery. Embroidery!!!! I would have had a closer look except that MY three children were howling for snacks and drinks.

But something struck me as I saw her there - I actually felt a little sorry for her. She seemed a little lonely. Even sad.

I made a kind of a vow that I would enjoy the fact that my three want me around and in fact love having me around 24 a day, 7 days a week.... because in a few short years time Jonty will be 12 and Em will be 10 and Nina will be 8 and they will be off on their own, not wanting old mom hanging around embarrassing them and spoiling all their fun, and I'll probably have to take up embroidery!

Oh, sorry, didn't I mention that this mom's children are 9 and 12 years old???

Go Figure!!!

So there we were on a tropical island. Stunning. Beautiful. Idyllic. Seriously amazing island. And what was I doing? Fretting about my figure.

Day 2... sitting on this palm-lined beach watching the kids frolic in the tiny little waves I looked around: do you know that there was not one single person with no fat, and no one had a perfect figure. No one. There were mommies and grannies and kiddies - all different shapes and sizes. It struck me that their bodies were almost like books - each one told a story, their imperfections were part of their history and they weren't really imperfections at all. Just who they were!

And what's more, they were all oblivious of me checking them out, they were just having a good time. Then there was me - mother of 3 so, yes, a round tummy, heavier thighs - that's my story, my history showing. Certainly not perfect, but not all that bad, yet there I was stressing about what I looked like. Covered up. No benefical rays of Vitamin D could reach me. What a waste of a tropical island holiday!

So. I did something very impulsive. I left Nick with the kids, and walked 200 m to the closest vendor and bought an itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini. My bravest move in 5 years - braver than moving to Thailand, braver than having 3 kids within 3 and a half year, braver than moving to Lampang to start up something so new that not even we know what we're doing....

No, wait, my bravest move was actually wearing the bikini (and it wasn't really so itsy bitsy!). And you know not a single person looked twice. Maybe some would have been devastated by that, but on Koh Chang last week it thrilled me. It meant I did not look like a freak. It meant I fitted in and looked quite normal. I won't be posting any photos of me wearing it, and I won't be wearing it at OMF conferences, but for a perfect island holiday, it just felt perfect!

Go figure.

The high price of greed

Tonight we had pitas with left-over braai from last night. Yummy. Except that Emily did not like the chicken in hers. She painstakingly removed it bit by bit, then refused to eat it. We said "fine"... but reminded her that she would not get any left-over chocolate cake if she didn't eat her chicken.

She ate all but the last 5 little pieces of chicken, so I very kindly (or so I thought) said she could have a small piece of cake.

Emily was horrified. She wanted a BIG piece. Jonty, who had polished off TWO pitas, had a big piece and she wanted a big piece too. Emily was NOT interested in a "baby" piece of cake.

She had a little tantrum. She got sent to the time-out mat. She came back when she was calm and in that same serene state, sat down at the table, and calmly flung the "small" piece of cake on the floor.

She went for some more "time out" with a very warm bottom. She had a good cry and when she came out and told me in her sweet little voice that she would eat her chicken. And she did - every last bit.

She got her (ever so slightly) bigger piece of cake. She ate about 3 mouthfuls of it, looked out the window - it is pitch dark here at from about 18h00 during "winter" - and said that it was so late "it's almost morning". Bottom line: She wanted to go to bed.

What about her cake? - no, she didn't want the rest of it, she'd had enough.

The silly girl. If she had just eaten the "baby" piece, she would not have had to eat the dreadful chicken AND she would have eaten more cake.

And so young Emily learns the high price of greed!!!

Out of Africa

A few days ago Jonty asked me why we can't go back to "Africa". I explained that our work is here in Thailand. I told him that most people in South Africa know about Jesus, but that most Thai people have not heard about Jesus. I told him that God has called us to work here so we must be obedient.

Yesterday morning, as I was leaving for Kids Club... Jonty was nowhere to be found. Just as I was driving out, Jonty came pedalling up on his bike, calling out that he wanted to come too.

In the car he told me that he'd been to visit Ben. Ben is a boy who lives in our neighbourhood during his holidays. He is 12 years old, his mom is Thai, his dad is American. In the past he has been very sweet to Jonty, and Jonty was very excited when he found out that Ben was "home" for December.

But!

Jonty told me that he'd asked Ben if he believed in Jesus and Ben said no, so Jonty told him that in that case he was going to hell. He proceeded to inform Ben that hell is a terrible place with lots of fire and bad people. Ben said it sounded horrible, but that he did not believe that he was going to hell. He said that he is a good boy, that he goes to the temple often, makes lots of merit, so he's sure he's going to heaven. Jonty told Ben that that was not good enough. He went on to say that Ben should believe in Jesus because Jesus is powerful and can heal the sick (evidenced by Jonty's healed chin) and raise people from the dead. Ben said that he was not a Christian and was not interested.

I think it was at this point that Jonty left, telling Ben that he would not come back to play until Ben had accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

Phew! Work to do...

Jonty and I had a long talk. I asked him what was the most important thing about God - Jonty said that he made us and loves us and wants us to love him ... I said it might be better if he tells others THIS first, rather than telling them they are going to hell. I asked Jonty if he'd like it if someone told him that he was going to hell ... he said no. We discussed that no-one really likes to be told this. We also talked about the fact that we follow Jesus because we LOVE him, not out of FEAR of HELL!

Jonty is very spiritually aware, so even though he's not quite five, he grasped it all. As soon as we got back from Kids Club he hopped on his bike and went to tell Ben that he's sorry about the way he spoke to him. He told him that Jesus made him and loves him. And he told Ben that they can still be friends even if they believe different things. Apparently Ben (in true Thai style) said "that's OK" and now they're friends again.

At supper-time I happened to ask Jonty why he decided to tell Ben about Jesus. Jonty said that he wants to tell as many people as he can about Jesus "so that we can go home to Africa". He said we should all do that. We should, indeed! Somehow Revelation 22:20 and 21 came to mind:

"The one who is testifying to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon!”

Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!

May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with all the saints .... (and especially with the missionary's kids!)

Amen

A rude awakening

(Emily being comforted by one of the "moms" on Sports Day)

I have noticed, over the past three months that our children have been in Anubaan Benjamaat, that the other moms are about the same age that I am. Now, that has surprised me, because I am an "older" mom.

I thought it was probably because Benjamaat is a private school, and perhaps these well-to-do ladies studied at university, got married a little later, and then had kids. I have been quite happy with the situation.

Until last week.

When Jonty had his slip'nslide and ended up with 9 stitches in his chin, he because a minor celebrity at the school. All the other moms were asking me how he was, and telling me how brave they'd heard he was. They wanted daily updates on the progress of the wound. It was a wonderful chance to get to know some of the other moms a little better.... although I'm sure there are better ways to break the ice!

So, while chatting to one particularly friendly mommy, it struck me that she knew all about my three kids, but I didn't know a thing about hers. So I asked if her child was in Jonty's class.

Oh no no no, its not her child ... its her granddaughter! But yes, she is in Jonty's class.

As I said: "rude awakening!". They're all grannies, not moms.

Nick tried to comfort me by saying that Thai ladies age well, and they are probably 10 years older than me. Strangely that was not particularly comforting.

Simply irresistible

I was really tired today (result of going to bed too late last night and getting up too many times during the night to sort out cold children who'd lost blankets, children falling out of bed, and struggling to fall asleep again afterwards. When there are three kids under the age 5 in the house, there will always be something!). Anyway, point is, I was a bit grumpier than usual, and my temper was a little shorter.

Thankfully I have Emily to sort me out.

Going down the stairs to have breakfast Jonty hit Emily on the head (playfully, not maliciously). She responded by screaming blue murder and probably waking up the entire neighbourhood. I said - "Jonty, don't be so rough, and Emily, you really don't need to scream like that."

Emily replied - "Mom, you really don't need to be so angry."

After dropping Jonty off at taekwondo this evening, driving home, Emily kept saying "Look mom, look at this!"... "mommy, mommy, look at that." She was getting a little upset with me because I wasn't looking at what she was doing on the back seat of the car, so I explained that while I was driving I could not turn around to look - its just too dangerous.

"Well, then STOP the car!" she says. Faultless logic.

I explained that we're in the middle of the Lampang traffic and that I can't just stop to look at her antics: there are cars ahead of me, cars behind me, cars next to me. Not to mention all the motorbikes. They'll crash into us if I just stop.

"Mom, " says Em very patiently as if she's talking to a 3 year-old, "just stop the car at the SHOPS .... there are no cars there to crash us , there's lots of space! And then you can buy me an ice-cream!"

Later she asked me for a treat - I said no, because treats are for good girls on special occasions, not just for everyday. She said "but Mom, I AM HAPPY!" I am not sure when "being happy" began to cover a multitude of sins, but Em sounded very convincing.

I was trying to make supper, Nina was grabbing everything, Emily was touching piping hot dishes, non-stop. I dished out a few smacks to these wandering fingers and said to both of them "you must learn not to touch everything" ... to which Emily replied "and you must learn not to smack!".

At some point during the late afternoon Em phoned Nick and asked him to buy her ice-cream for pudding. I asked Nick if he was going to - of course he was! "How could I resist?" he asked. And I've got to admit, Emily is simply irresistible.

Thailand - land of the strained smiles

What’s going on in Thailand!? Shutting down the 2 main airports, 1 million jobs lost, 350 000 tourists trapped in the country, holiday bookings cut by 50%, and such political turmoil! This unrest in country so renowned for its easy-going fun-loving nature defies logic.

We, with other Westerners, watch this mess and wonder how it could happen in Thailand. Back up though - what exactly has happened?

In September 2006, prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra was kicked out during a military coup. Just over a year later elections were held and won by the People Power party (PPP). The party was pretty much still Taksin’s party and well supported by rural folk. The new prime minister was Samak Sundaravej. The People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD) were not happy and began to demonstrate.

Samak Sundaravej then lost his seat because he had been the emcee on two cooking shows – not allowed when you’re the PM! And so, Thaksin's brother-in-law took over as PM. Demonstrators did not appreciate this and have been aggressively fighting it. In the boldest move of all, they took over Bangkok’s airports.

Meanwhile - although he has been found criminally guilty - Taksin announced that he plans to return to politics…

We need to accept that we may never appreciate the Thai logic that has led to the current political mess. But let’s try anyway!

Emotions rate very highly in Thai society – Thais place a strong emphasis on making sure everyone is having a good time everywhere, all the time. They avoid stressful personal confrontations or, indeed, anything unpleasant. There’s a special Thai word for it “sanuk” – visitors to Thailand love it. But it means that people listen to their feelings, rather than their heads…unlike our culture which values rational decision making more highly.

We think in a linear way i.e. if A follows B, then this will lead to C. It’s so logical and so simple that its difficult for us to understand why some people might adopt a different decision-making style.

We’ll ask “How can the Thai elect a government that promises the impossible?” or “How can they close their international airports knowing the hardship it will cause for their countrymen?”. But for the Thais what is important is the shared values of friends, colleagues, and community, a strong sense of unity, solidarity. They’ll accept ideas within this context without necessarily questioning them.

Another thing is their idea of what is "right" – and its not something that can be rationally justified, its just a sense, a feeling, a spiritual thing. Thai are far more open than we are to making decisions based on faith, not objective analysis.

So while we might think: closing airports = loss of millions of jobs and billions of baht = bad idea, the Thai might think: closing airports = sign of solidarity = morally right.

While they might be prepared to forgo being happy and relaxed for a time, they are not likely to give up their worthy cause which they believe in. In this political mess, both sides feel they have the moral high ground and believe they are right. Stalemate.

So what is to be done?

Oh, it's simply a matter of leaping huge cultural hurdles, and massive cultural adjustments being made, that’s all. But, hey, that’s what we do every day as missionaries here – just in a different context. As we watch the unfolding drama, it reminds us of what we are up against in bringing the gospel to the Thai.

So please pray for Thailand with us.