The high price of greed

Tonight we had pitas with left-over braai from last night. Yummy. Except that Emily did not like the chicken in hers. She painstakingly removed it bit by bit, then refused to eat it. We said "fine"... but reminded her that she would not get any left-over chocolate cake if she didn't eat her chicken.

She ate all but the last 5 little pieces of chicken, so I very kindly (or so I thought) said she could have a small piece of cake.

Emily was horrified. She wanted a BIG piece. Jonty, who had polished off TWO pitas, had a big piece and she wanted a big piece too. Emily was NOT interested in a "baby" piece of cake.

She had a little tantrum. She got sent to the time-out mat. She came back when she was calm and in that same serene state, sat down at the table, and calmly flung the "small" piece of cake on the floor.

She went for some more "time out" with a very warm bottom. She had a good cry and when she came out and told me in her sweet little voice that she would eat her chicken. And she did - every last bit.

She got her (ever so slightly) bigger piece of cake. She ate about 3 mouthfuls of it, looked out the window - it is pitch dark here at from about 18h00 during "winter" - and said that it was so late "it's almost morning". Bottom line: She wanted to go to bed.

What about her cake? - no, she didn't want the rest of it, she'd had enough.

The silly girl. If she had just eaten the "baby" piece, she would not have had to eat the dreadful chicken AND she would have eaten more cake.

And so young Emily learns the high price of greed!!!

Out of Africa

A few days ago Jonty asked me why we can't go back to "Africa". I explained that our work is here in Thailand. I told him that most people in South Africa know about Jesus, but that most Thai people have not heard about Jesus. I told him that God has called us to work here so we must be obedient.

Yesterday morning, as I was leaving for Kids Club... Jonty was nowhere to be found. Just as I was driving out, Jonty came pedalling up on his bike, calling out that he wanted to come too.

In the car he told me that he'd been to visit Ben. Ben is a boy who lives in our neighbourhood during his holidays. He is 12 years old, his mom is Thai, his dad is American. In the past he has been very sweet to Jonty, and Jonty was very excited when he found out that Ben was "home" for December.

But!

Jonty told me that he'd asked Ben if he believed in Jesus and Ben said no, so Jonty told him that in that case he was going to hell. He proceeded to inform Ben that hell is a terrible place with lots of fire and bad people. Ben said it sounded horrible, but that he did not believe that he was going to hell. He said that he is a good boy, that he goes to the temple often, makes lots of merit, so he's sure he's going to heaven. Jonty told Ben that that was not good enough. He went on to say that Ben should believe in Jesus because Jesus is powerful and can heal the sick (evidenced by Jonty's healed chin) and raise people from the dead. Ben said that he was not a Christian and was not interested.

I think it was at this point that Jonty left, telling Ben that he would not come back to play until Ben had accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

Phew! Work to do...

Jonty and I had a long talk. I asked him what was the most important thing about God - Jonty said that he made us and loves us and wants us to love him ... I said it might be better if he tells others THIS first, rather than telling them they are going to hell. I asked Jonty if he'd like it if someone told him that he was going to hell ... he said no. We discussed that no-one really likes to be told this. We also talked about the fact that we follow Jesus because we LOVE him, not out of FEAR of HELL!

Jonty is very spiritually aware, so even though he's not quite five, he grasped it all. As soon as we got back from Kids Club he hopped on his bike and went to tell Ben that he's sorry about the way he spoke to him. He told him that Jesus made him and loves him. And he told Ben that they can still be friends even if they believe different things. Apparently Ben (in true Thai style) said "that's OK" and now they're friends again.

At supper-time I happened to ask Jonty why he decided to tell Ben about Jesus. Jonty said that he wants to tell as many people as he can about Jesus "so that we can go home to Africa". He said we should all do that. We should, indeed! Somehow Revelation 22:20 and 21 came to mind:

"The one who is testifying to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon!”

Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!

May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with all the saints .... (and especially with the missionary's kids!)

Amen

A rude awakening

(Emily being comforted by one of the "moms" on Sports Day)

I have noticed, over the past three months that our children have been in Anubaan Benjamaat, that the other moms are about the same age that I am. Now, that has surprised me, because I am an "older" mom.

I thought it was probably because Benjamaat is a private school, and perhaps these well-to-do ladies studied at university, got married a little later, and then had kids. I have been quite happy with the situation.

Until last week.

When Jonty had his slip'nslide and ended up with 9 stitches in his chin, he because a minor celebrity at the school. All the other moms were asking me how he was, and telling me how brave they'd heard he was. They wanted daily updates on the progress of the wound. It was a wonderful chance to get to know some of the other moms a little better.... although I'm sure there are better ways to break the ice!

So, while chatting to one particularly friendly mommy, it struck me that she knew all about my three kids, but I didn't know a thing about hers. So I asked if her child was in Jonty's class.

Oh no no no, its not her child ... its her granddaughter! But yes, she is in Jonty's class.

As I said: "rude awakening!". They're all grannies, not moms.

Nick tried to comfort me by saying that Thai ladies age well, and they are probably 10 years older than me. Strangely that was not particularly comforting.

Simply irresistible

I was really tired today (result of going to bed too late last night and getting up too many times during the night to sort out cold children who'd lost blankets, children falling out of bed, and struggling to fall asleep again afterwards. When there are three kids under the age 5 in the house, there will always be something!). Anyway, point is, I was a bit grumpier than usual, and my temper was a little shorter.

Thankfully I have Emily to sort me out.

Going down the stairs to have breakfast Jonty hit Emily on the head (playfully, not maliciously). She responded by screaming blue murder and probably waking up the entire neighbourhood. I said - "Jonty, don't be so rough, and Emily, you really don't need to scream like that."

Emily replied - "Mom, you really don't need to be so angry."

After dropping Jonty off at taekwondo this evening, driving home, Emily kept saying "Look mom, look at this!"... "mommy, mommy, look at that." She was getting a little upset with me because I wasn't looking at what she was doing on the back seat of the car, so I explained that while I was driving I could not turn around to look - its just too dangerous.

"Well, then STOP the car!" she says. Faultless logic.

I explained that we're in the middle of the Lampang traffic and that I can't just stop to look at her antics: there are cars ahead of me, cars behind me, cars next to me. Not to mention all the motorbikes. They'll crash into us if I just stop.

"Mom, " says Em very patiently as if she's talking to a 3 year-old, "just stop the car at the SHOPS .... there are no cars there to crash us , there's lots of space! And then you can buy me an ice-cream!"

Later she asked me for a treat - I said no, because treats are for good girls on special occasions, not just for everyday. She said "but Mom, I AM HAPPY!" I am not sure when "being happy" began to cover a multitude of sins, but Em sounded very convincing.

I was trying to make supper, Nina was grabbing everything, Emily was touching piping hot dishes, non-stop. I dished out a few smacks to these wandering fingers and said to both of them "you must learn not to touch everything" ... to which Emily replied "and you must learn not to smack!".

At some point during the late afternoon Em phoned Nick and asked him to buy her ice-cream for pudding. I asked Nick if he was going to - of course he was! "How could I resist?" he asked. And I've got to admit, Emily is simply irresistible.

Thailand - land of the strained smiles

What’s going on in Thailand!? Shutting down the 2 main airports, 1 million jobs lost, 350 000 tourists trapped in the country, holiday bookings cut by 50%, and such political turmoil! This unrest in country so renowned for its easy-going fun-loving nature defies logic.

We, with other Westerners, watch this mess and wonder how it could happen in Thailand. Back up though - what exactly has happened?

In September 2006, prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra was kicked out during a military coup. Just over a year later elections were held and won by the People Power party (PPP). The party was pretty much still Taksin’s party and well supported by rural folk. The new prime minister was Samak Sundaravej. The People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD) were not happy and began to demonstrate.

Samak Sundaravej then lost his seat because he had been the emcee on two cooking shows – not allowed when you’re the PM! And so, Thaksin's brother-in-law took over as PM. Demonstrators did not appreciate this and have been aggressively fighting it. In the boldest move of all, they took over Bangkok’s airports.

Meanwhile - although he has been found criminally guilty - Taksin announced that he plans to return to politics…

We need to accept that we may never appreciate the Thai logic that has led to the current political mess. But let’s try anyway!

Emotions rate very highly in Thai society – Thais place a strong emphasis on making sure everyone is having a good time everywhere, all the time. They avoid stressful personal confrontations or, indeed, anything unpleasant. There’s a special Thai word for it “sanuk” – visitors to Thailand love it. But it means that people listen to their feelings, rather than their heads…unlike our culture which values rational decision making more highly.

We think in a linear way i.e. if A follows B, then this will lead to C. It’s so logical and so simple that its difficult for us to understand why some people might adopt a different decision-making style.

We’ll ask “How can the Thai elect a government that promises the impossible?” or “How can they close their international airports knowing the hardship it will cause for their countrymen?”. But for the Thais what is important is the shared values of friends, colleagues, and community, a strong sense of unity, solidarity. They’ll accept ideas within this context without necessarily questioning them.

Another thing is their idea of what is "right" – and its not something that can be rationally justified, its just a sense, a feeling, a spiritual thing. Thai are far more open than we are to making decisions based on faith, not objective analysis.

So while we might think: closing airports = loss of millions of jobs and billions of baht = bad idea, the Thai might think: closing airports = sign of solidarity = morally right.

While they might be prepared to forgo being happy and relaxed for a time, they are not likely to give up their worthy cause which they believe in. In this political mess, both sides feel they have the moral high ground and believe they are right. Stalemate.

So what is to be done?

Oh, it's simply a matter of leaping huge cultural hurdles, and massive cultural adjustments being made, that’s all. But, hey, that’s what we do every day as missionaries here – just in a different context. As we watch the unfolding drama, it reminds us of what we are up against in bringing the gospel to the Thai.

So please pray for Thailand with us.

Wolf ,Wolf, what's the time?

That was the game we played today at Kids' Club: "Wolf Wolf what's the time?" My own kids have been playing it since they were about 2... the Kids Club Kids are 6 and older so I thought it would be easy. I had gone through my introduction and explanation of the game with my language helper yesterday... I knew what to say and how to say it. I was ready.

But they didn't get it. The wolf refused to turn around and look away from the kids. The children could only call out "wolf wolf" if they were robotically repeating it after me. And could only take the steps if they were robotically following me. At first the wolf didn't manage to catch anyone (even though he was the oldest and fastest of the lot!). And even though they only had to run back to the start to avoid being caught, they all ran right around the house and then some! Frustration!!!

Photo: Kids Club on a better day!

Sadly, its not the first time this has happened. As I get more experienced at running Kids Club, it happens less often, but that's just because I am lowering the standards and my expectations! I realise it has something to do with my inadequate Thai, but truly, there's definitely a lot more to it than just that!!! I love Kids' Club and am honestly fond of the children, but their lack of ability to THINK really frustrates me...

When we first arrived in Thailand in 2003, I read in the Bangkok Post that the average IQ here is low and dropping. In fact the average of Thai children is between 87 and 88 points. This was according to a survey done in 2002. There was a plan to develop children intellectually and physically, and raise the IQ to at least 100 by 2008.

Its 2008 now and I am wondering how the programmes fared. I am on a mission to find out, but so far have not been able to find anything.

The 2002 survey results were fairly dire: at least 20% of the children under five years of age had visual, muscular and touch-perception problems. Another survey (from 2001) found that children from six to 12 had low levels of patience, discipline, concentration and self-reliance, while those between 13 and 18 had insufficient creativity, analytical ability, conscience, problem-solving skills and emotional control.

The then minister of education said that these problems were the result of parents leaving teachers in charge of their children's development. Teachers are not trained to maximise children's potential at the right age, he said. The five-year plan included teaching pregnant mothers to eat nutritious food during pregnancy, and stimulating their children's development at the right age.

The minister for mental health said that: "Some parents tend to carry their babies in their arms all the time out of concerns that their babies might fall and hurt themselves. That's not right. If it's time for your babies to start crawling or running, let them do so because it encourages their development."

HAH! This is what I've been saying all along. Whenever I get asked how come my kids are so active, independent, energetic, inquisitive and talk so much.... that's what I say, and that's why I started my moms and babies class (which no one attends because they have all taken the kids to nursery so the teachers can make sure their kids develop)!

Before I get too carried away on this particular rant, let me not forget that South Africa's average IQ is 72! So who I am to comment on a nation's whose national average is 87? But all the same, I do hope that the five-year plan will start showing some fruit soon! And that maybe, just maybe, some moms will come to my classes.

And I think that its time to think!

Sports Day! Thai Style.

Sports Day. The kids in the school were divided into three teams: Red, Yellow and Blue. Jonty and Emily were in the Blue team. The day started off with speeches, a demonstration of the sports the kids do, Thai girls dressed up like drum majorettes, a parade (in which Jonty got to beat the drum for the Blue team)... and then, eventually, it was time for the games to begin.

Jonty was in the first race of the day. It was also his first race ever, so, after "triam tua", "prom", and "pay" as the whistle blew ("on your marks", "get set", "go" for those who don't speak Thai) Jonty waited until the other boys were halfway down the track, before realising that he should also run. To add insult to injury, members of the jolly Red team ran out into his lane causing him to (a) get a fright and (b) make a wide - really wide - detour. The other boys were sipping juice by the time Jonty finished his 100m dash/obstacle course.

If that had been me I would have been devastated. Coming last, oh no no! But Jonty was delighted. He had so much fun, and said he hoped they'd have another sports day soon, there's really no reason to wait till next year. He was also proud of himself for running his fastest. Well, he did run pretty fast, just a pity he started a bit too late, and took too long a detour!!! But I was proud of him for being able to enjoy it despite the fact that he came 3 out of 3. He won a bronze medal (unfortunately it was pink) and is very happy with it - especially, after I spray-painted the outside gold...

I felt I was justified in spray-painting it gold because NO almost-5 year old boy should be seen wandering around wearing a pink medal!!! and secondly, his Blue team won Sports Day, so the gold represents his team's victory. So how did the blue team win? Did I mention that Madame Emily was also in the Blue team?

She was in a grumpy mood, so she stomped off to her race looking too cute for words in her athletics outfit. Her race was the much-awaited watermelon relay. She was first off the mark, and did a brilliant job picking up her watermelon, racing around the track and back so the second person could get it. He was half her size, but bravely seized the watermelon and slowly ambled around the track, ending up stone last. The third one to go was a strong little girl who had no problem, but she fell once, and so the Blue team was still last. I thought it was all over, but the race was not finished yet, there were 2 rounds! Off Emily went again - she caught up, and then took the lead which was not all the hard seeing as the Red team member had burst into tears and was being coaxed by the teachers and mother to finish the race, and the Yellow team member had fallen down and had to find her watermelon which delayed her considerably. The Blues held their lead and so, Emily took the gold!!!!! Go Em! She cheered up no end.

After all the races, it was time for the awards and official photos. Every single child had competed in something, and so every single child won a medal. Each one of them was just so delighted, and they went racing around finding others who had the same colour as theirs ... the pinks (bronzes) and the silvers and the golds all seem to have equal value! They all took part, they all had fun. It was a huge success and I learned that you don't have to win to have fun. Although I still think it does help.